Time flies

A lot has changed in a year. This time last year I was 35 weeks pregnant. I was anxious for the coming weeks, happy, excited, and HUGE! And most of all ready to meet Dayton...and especially for Davin to meet Dayton. He was just as excited as all of us!

Fast forward to this year and it's the exact opposite. I'm dreading the coming weeks, depressed, sad, mad, and missing Dayton like crazy.

I kept a pregnancy journal while I was pregnant with Dayton and have continued writing in it since his passing. I've been skimming through it a little tonight and this is the last entry I wrote while I was pregnant.
Tuesday January 31, 2012
35 weeks   178 lbs
"Not too much longer until we get to meet you! We are all so excited! I haven't had many cravings lately, but still eating a lot. I'm betting you're going to be a big boy. My feet have been swelling a lot lately, and I just hope my blood pressure doesn't get high like it did with Davin. Our next appointment is Tuesday February 14 so we will see!"

I just knew he was going to be a Valentine baby. I got induced with Davin the day of my 37 week appointment and February 14 would have been my 37 week appointment with Dayton. I still can't believe in 2 weeks will be Dayton's 1st birthday. How is it possible that a year has gone by? I still remember those 4 days like it was yesterday....

I'm so stressed trying to get Davin's party ready for this Sunday, and I'm also trying to figure out what I want to do for Dayton's birthday. Unfortunately, with me having to miss 2 days of work earlier this month with Davin having pneumonia, I will have to go to work on Dayton's birthday. I just hope I can mostly hold it together, but I will allow myself a few melt downs. I plan on going to visit him on the 10th, the day before his birthday and take him some new flowers and stuffed animals and I will let Davin send him some balloons! It's crazy how fast time passes you by.....